I Need To Rant About Frozen. Also Frozen II Trailer I Guess

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I Need To Rant About Frozen. Also Frozen II Trailer I Guess

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Post by Apollo the Just » Sun Oct 06, 2019 12:56 am

So, way back in 2013 I watched Frozen when it first came out. I hadn't re-watched it since (until today, I'll get to that), but I remember how I felt in theaters watching it.

"Let It Go" was basically the hypest **** I've ever seen in my life. I do not care how many obnoxious 8 year olds have ruined that song for everyone, that sequence is absolutely incredible. The raw power and freedom. I know some people criticize Idina Menzel singing a song that isn't quite as comfortably in her range as it once was, but I kind of liked how she belts it, it feels so passionate. I love it. The camera work, the visuals, the aesthetics, the song, everything. I am a **** slut for this song. This is the one and only popular opinion I have and I am not ashamed of it because if this is wrong I don't want to be right.

But then literally everything after "Let It Go" was kind of garbage. I remember thinking that Elsa was by MILES the more interesting character and yet she's offscreen for the majority of the movie. I remember thinking that Anna has the exact same ~genki~ personality as every other recent Disney female protagonist and getting tired of it, and I remember thinking that if the movie was going to have this Big Epic Reveal about how SURPRISE IT'S ABOUT FAMILIAL LOVE NOT ROMANTIC LOVE!!! then it shouldn't have made such a big **** deal about Anna's NOT ONE BUT TWO love interests for the entirety of the film. Also, I remember thinking that Olaf was probably the worst mascot character in the history of mascot characters.

All in all, I remember thinking it didn't deserve the rave reviews it was getting, but Let It Go was still lit and I still liked it better than Tangled because at least Elsa was cool even if she wasn't there for 90% of the movie.

~~~

Flash forward to now. I saw the trailer for Frozen II in trailers earlier this week. And I got salty. Why, you ask? Well, because Frozen II looks like it might actually legitimately be an interesting film, and I was mad we couldn't have just had that in the first place. Anyway, I decided I wanted to validate my elitism (because maybe I was wrong and it's actually good!!) and my girlfriend hadn't seen Frozeen 1 anyway so we decided to watch it together.

Well everyone, I am pleased to announce that I was absolutely and completely correct. Honestly overall the movie ended up being worse than I recalled it being. The SURPRISE HANS IS EVIL!!!! reveal is even worse on re-watch, because all of his actions are very genuine until the reveal and obviously slimy after. There is nothing to be gained on a rewatch there. Like... I guess he was just doing works of goodwill and charity while Anna and Elsa were off being protagonists to uhhhhh, idk? own the libs? There could have potentially been interesting commentary when Anna gets back - the True Love's Kiss doesn't work because he and Anna aren't truly in love since they haven't known each other that long, and then she has to re-negotiate her feelings and realize that maybe her experiences with Kristoff were making her second guess things, but instead Hans is conveniently just evil so she doesn't have to have any complicated thoughts and we have a nice scapegoat for everything.

Also Anna just has dumb*** disease for like the entire film. Everyone else does too but mostly her. OK gonna marry this guy I just met and then **** off and LEAVE MY ENTIRE KINGDOM TO HIM??? which could have gone significantly worse considering he's evil but he used that opportunity to.. pass out blankets and give shelter to everyone so uh i guess that was fine? and then ill go talk to my sister and then tell her "i know you have destroy-the-world-with-your-anxiety powers but it's fine :) " and is shocked when this does not fix things, then she goes back home and almost dies and then saves her sister from whatever at the end and.... honestly who cares it's just really dumb.

Conveniently, it seems that a lifetime of anxiety around your powers and trauma from causing harm to others and isolation are cured at the end of the film by " love ". i guess elsa just needed to love her sister harder earlier and she wouldn't have almost killed everyone? unclear. also the civilians are just magically chill with her ice powers at the end despite being terrified of her the entire film. literally none of the movie's conflicts were addressed elsa and anna just kind of hug it out and the movie pats itself on the back for not being about romance. even though honestly anna and kristoff's romance is literally the only well-developed relationship in the film, considering anna and elsa barely actually talk to each other even though the movie is about them.

ANYWAY, it's pretty mediocre at best. I have no idea why it got such rave reviews. I assume a lot of critics didn't actually watch it.

THAT SAID the sequel is coming out soon, and while it still doesn't look like it is going to be the most life-changing animated movie of all time, at the very least it looks like Elsa might actually be important and Anna and Elsa might actually have a compellingly-developed relationship in it. Which would honestly be a first. lmfao.

here's the trailer:



EDIT: to be clear i dunno how ill feel about it if it tries to take itself Too Seriously TM and i doubt anything in it will have as much of an impact as Let It Go in the original but it would just kind of be nice if a Frozen title actually had decent character development and storytelling. remains to be seen. i am going to give it a chance

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